


The Last Heart To Heart

by Spectre6



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Death, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Serious, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 14:14:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30056715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spectre6/pseuds/Spectre6
Summary: When Kanan is given visions of the next few days, he talks with Ezra about what is in store for both of them.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	The Last Heart To Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Author's notes: Hello my friends! I hope you're all doing good. it has been a while since I've uploaded and I have gotten a few messages from people asking if I'm posting another story and/or when I'll post it. My writing process is very random. Some nights I'll be in the mood to write and know what I want to say, and other nights I won't have the enthusiasm for it. I want to bring quality stories, ones I've put my heart into and enjoy writing. If I'm not feeling into it that night, or even a couple nights, I'd be doing myself and all of you a disservice to force myself to write when my heart isn't into it. 
> 
> Unfortunately, this means that I might go months without posting a new story. I know, it sucks and I hate it as well, but I hope all of you understand. If you've read my previous stories and been following me, thank you for sticking around. I appreciate you!
> 
> This is a slight AU where Ezra and Kanan talk about their sacrifices beforehand. Disclaimer: With this being slightly AU, the scene will not be 100% accurate. 
> 
> Constructive criticism is welcome. Stay safe!
> 
> -Spectre 6

Author's notes: Hello my friends! I hope you're all doing good. it has been a while since I've uploaded and I have gotten a few messages from people asking if I'm posting another story and/or when I'll post it. My writing process is very random. Some nights I'll be in the mood to write and know what I want to say, and other nights I won't have the enthusiasm for it. I want to bring quality stories, ones I've put my heart into and enjoy writing. If I'm not feeling into it that night, or even a couple nights, I'd be doing myself and all of you a disservice to force myself to write when my heart isn't into it. 

Unfortunately, this means that I might go months without posting a new story. I know, it sucks and I hate it as well, but I hope all of you understand. If you've read my previous stories and been following me, thank you for sticking around. I appreciate you!

This is a slight AU where Ezra and Kanan talk about their sacrifices beforehand. Disclaimer: With this being slightly AU, the scene will not be 100% accurate. 

Constructive criticism is welcome. Stay safe!

-Spectre 6

\------------------------------

Kanan stood on top of a fuel pod, hugging Hera. He felt happiness, as did Ezra and Sabine. He assumed something was previously said that was good, but he couldn't recall what. He was behind Hera as she boarded the shuttle Ezra and Sabine were on, and was about to step up into it when they heard the unmistakable sound of an AT-AT firing. As the fuel pod began to erupt, Kanan didn't hesitate to race towards the fire and throw up a Force shield. One man stood between death and his family, one man was doing his best to give them the time they needed to escape. He heard Hera call out to him, but he didn't react other than to put up another shield blocking her from approaching. He looked at Hera, and did something she would have killed him for: pushed her away with the Force. His "gaze" never left the woman he loved, even as he let down the shield holding the explosion back. He felt nothing except love as his sight briefly returned, and he saw his lover - actually saw her - for the first time since he lost his sight, and the last.

\--

Ezra stood on the bridge of the Chimaera with Thrawn and his stormtroopers all aiming at him. Ezra was calm, collected and unafraid. In the next moment, the sky darkened as the purrgil arrived. The massive beasts wrapped themselves around the destroyer, causing chaos and destruction that gave Ezra time to react. The purrgil trapped Thrawn, but not good enough as he managed to free himself and get a shot off, injuring Ezra. A tendril squeezed Thrawn after Ezra force pushed him, and the beautiful beasts assumed the position. Ezra's remained calm, albeit sad, and took a deep breath as he prepared to leave his family and home. In a matter of minutes, the purrgil disappeared into hyperspace, taking Ezra with them to an unknown destination. 

\--

The first vision about himself came two days ago, then Ezra's the following day. It was unusual for visions to come two days in a row around the same exact time - at least, Kanan thought so. Then again, he wasn't the "vision expert". Seeing that he was going to die was hard, but he had solace in that Ezra would be around to take his place. Now that was ripped away. Thoughts about both visions kept him up at night as he tried to make sense of it. How could both of them be taken away in a span of a few days? How would the crew cope? Briefly, he wondered if he should tell Ezra. He trusted his padawan and knew he'd do anything to save his planet, but when you know you're going to die - it messes with you in ways that couldn't be explained. I have to tell him, we need to talk. It wouldn't be fair to Ezra to go through with this and not inform the young man who had become like a son.

The question was, how did he tell him? "Hey kid, got a vision that we both die." Kanan rolled his eyes at that. He felt like a kid saying it, but this wasn't fair. He knew this was the will of the Force, but..Hera was pregnant, why would the Force want to take him away now? That wasn't fair! Thus far, Kanan was the only one who knew Hera was pregnant. He had sensed the other life inside of her, and at first was alarmed, until it clicked in his head: 'oh, she's pregnant. Uhhhh, she's what?' Kanan was overjoyed, the first thing he wanted to do was tell Hera and hug her. For once, however, Kanan thought the wiser of it and knew it would be more of a surprise if she found out on her own. Plus, Hera hated how Kanan and Ezra could know things before her. It was better he didn't steal the surprise from her.

Not only that, he couldn't tell her of the pregnancy, then say "I must give my life." This left Kanan in a predicament he hated. The Force was calling him to do something greater, but he had a child on the way and a woman he loved. It broke Kanan's heart, and part of him was understandably angry. He lost his sight, now he was going to lose his life, and was going to miss out on a happy life with Hera and their child. The cherry on top was that Kanan couldn't think of a way to circumvent it. Kanan knew that everything happened for a reason, so if his crew was on that fuel pod, they had to be, and any deviation could potentially jeopardize why they were there.

At that moment, he sensed Ezra walk into the common room of the Ghost, figuring he just woke up. 

"Kanan?" Ezra groggily asked. A quick glance at his master told him he hadn't slept. "No sleep?" 

Kanan looked at him, confused. "What time is it?"

"Too early for me to be awake." Ezra said. "What's going on?" he asked

It was convenient that Ezra was awake, something Kanan attributed to the Force. "Guess I lost track of the time." That was an understatement, he had been up all night dwelling on it. "How about I make us some caf and we go have a talk? Try not to wake anyone, please. They don't need to know about this."

Ezra raised an eye. As tired as he was, Ezra was still able to figure out how unusual and serious this was. Secrecy was frowned upon between spectres, being honest was something they had all agreed to when it came to important things. "Sure. I'll get dressed."

\--

Still not fully awake, Ezra lagged slightly behind Kanan. Kanan hadn't said where they were going, but Ezra assumed it was far enough away from the Ghost to give them privacy. Sure enough, Kanan led them to a remote part of the planet. There was nothing near except various rock formations and animals. When Kanan sat down, Ezra followed suit, choosing to sit across from his master. "Kanan?" he asked, then took a drink of his caf.

For several minutes, Kanan was silent. Finally, he looked at Ezra. "Jedi are peacekeepers, diplomats and protectors. We both know that this entails putting our life on the line for others. It's what we've come to expect and don't bat an eye. However, there is a difference between putting your life on the line in the heat of the moment and voluntarily putting your life on the line."

Ezra looked at him, confused. He didn't know what that meant, nor did he know what his master was getting at. "Can you explain?" he asked.

Silence ensued as he tried to think of a way to explain it. "Ugh, this is one of those times I wish Yoda would intervene." He paused, then quickly added. "Never mind."

Ezra laughed. "Good call."

Kanan took a drink from his own caf before continuing. "The best way for me to explain it is to tell you about my visions." Kanan had decided on telling Ezra mostly everything, spare a few things. Not because he wanted to hide it, more that he felt it was better.

Ezra perked up, more interested now.

"In the first one, Pryce orders an AT-AT to fire at the Empire's own fuel pods. There's no time for all of us to escape, I have hold off the explosion until all of you are out of harm's way before it finally consumes me." It was hard enough knowing about it, but saying it out loud - and to Ezra - made him regret his fate.

The first thing Ezra wanted to say was "We could do it differently so you don't die", but Ezra knew, just like Kanan, this had to happen. Altering the events might cause more damage long term. Swallowing a lump in his throat, and ignoring the desire to question it, he spoke again. "You said visions, as in plural."

Kanan nodded. "Not long after my sacrifice, you will do the same. The difference is, mine will be permanent. You may come back, I don't know." Kanan inwardly scolded himself. He hated lying to Ezra, but in this instance, he had to and not reveal for a fact that Ezra would eventually come back.

Ezra stared at his master, silently encouraging him to continue. When it became obvious that was all he'd give, Ezra looked down at his lightsaber as he began to process it. That was cryptic, and left so many open possibilities. What would happen that he'd leave and come back? Brought back to life? No, that's not possible. Get captured and then rescued? Seemed most likely. But, wait a minute. "Our family loses both of us, in a short time span?"

Kanan nodded. "I know, you wonder if they can handle it." I don't even know if Hera will be able to once she learns the exciting news - which won't be exciting due to his loss. "It will be difficult for them, but they will pull through and fight on." Kanan hated knowing what would happen, mainly because he couldn't divulge everything.

Ezra still wasn't convinced. "What about Vader? He's not going to forget about our crew simply because we are gone." The Spectres were arguably the most famous rebels, there was no way they'd be brushed aside.

Ezra had a point. "I don't have an answer." He admitted. "but I trust in the Force."

Ezra was flabbergasted. "I don't doubt the Force, but Kanan...this is crazy! Do you trust the Force enough to give up your life without knowing for sure it will save our family long term?"

This made Kanan hesitate and doubt himself. Ezra had multiple good points, and Kanan didn't have the answers. Or at least the answers Ezra wanted, but Kanan refused to let go of "trust the Force", it was something all the masters - including his - had instilled into him. Trust the Force, follow the Force. If something happens, it is because the Force willed it. "The Force brought you to our family, it helped us get to where we are now. Thanks to it, we have saved so many lives, and will save more. The Force has guided us this far, and now it asks us to make the ultimate sacrifice. It's not fair, and I agree it sucks, but we must trust that this is the only way. Our family will grieve." Especially Hera, Kanan thought. "But just like us, they knew the risks of what we're doing, and we all knew death was possible. They will forever grieve, but they will continue fighting and continue to do what we started." Kanan placed a hand on Ezra's shoulder. 

Ezra had wanted to say more, but he could tell Kanan wasn't finished. Calming himself from being upset, he continued to listen.

Kanan saw Ezra relax slightly, and smiled. "Hera and I had never planned for this to become a crew. Zeb, Sabine and you were the unexpected passengers that we will forever be happy to have brought into our lives and into this family. I was content with never revealing myself as a Jedi, content with hiding forever. I didn't like it, I hated having a false identity, but it was a new life that I had to get used to. When you came around and things went the way they did, I was excited. Excited for another Jedi, excited to continue the teachings, even if mine had been incomplete. Thanks to you, I have been able to learn more about the Force, all from being a teacher. You brought a personality and perspective to the crew that we had been missing, even if you were annoying at first." Kanan smirked.

Ezra had realized what this was. It was the last heart to heart conversation they would ever have, Kanan was saying goodbye. The realization hit him hard, and he took a minute to compose himself. He forced himself to chuckle a bit at what Kanan said as he wiped his eye. "At least I wasn't as bad as Zeb." He said. "Kanan?" Ezra asked, serious. "I don't want to lose you, Hera, Sabine, Zeb or Chopper. You guys gave me a home, a family. All I've wanted was my family back. I don't want to be alone again."

Hearing Ezra say that broke Kanan's heart, even more so because he knew Ezra would be alone once the Purgill led the ships away. Kanan reached out, placing a hand on Ezra's shoulder. "Even if none of us are around, you will never be alone. We will always be here with you. Who knows, maybe I'll become a ghost and bug you and Sabine." He teased.

Ezra rolled his eyes, his cheeks slightly going pink. "Me and Sabine?"

Now it was Kanan's turn to roll his eyes. "C'mon kid, you can't hide it from me."

Ezra shook his head. "I'm not, there's nothing between us." 'I wish there was.' he thought. He was happy just being friends with Sabine, it was better than nothing, but he did want there to be more. He loved her, there was no hiding or denying it to himself.

Kanan smiled. "There's nothing romantic, yet, but give it time. You and Sabine's relationship has grown significantly since you joined. You and her are always together, even on missions. Hera and I acted the same way you two do. We danced around the subject, never saying anything but knowing there was something growing between us. To think it was love, it's still surprising. I never even intended to fall for someone, but when you spend so much time around them, it's inevitably going to happen."

Ezra stared. "I'd argue it's still a work in progress with you and Hera."

Kanan silently smirked, thinking of Hera's pregnancy. 'Not so much a word in progress anymore.' "You'd be surprised. Hera and Sabine are similar in that both are hardened warriors who don't offer their feelings on a silver platter. They both show a hard, fierce exterior, but inside, they are like everyone else. The difference is what they have experienced to lead up to how they act."

Ezra pondered this. "Like with Sabine's past at the academy."

Kanan nodded. "Sabine doesn't express herself the same way you do, at least not easily. You've noticed her opening up more to you, right?"

Ezra nodded.

"Exactly. It took time, but she opened up. I'd even say you are her best friend. Hard as hell to find either of you alone." he laughed.

Again, thoughts plagued Ezra's mind. "Won't my leaving, even if temporary, hurt our relationship? Who knows how long I'll be gone."

Kanan snorted. "It'll only hurt your relationship in that when you come back, Sabine is going to kill you for leaving."

"Fair." Ezra laughed. "What will happen to the crew itself?"

"What makes you think something will happen?" Kanan replied.

"I have no doubt Hera can lead the crew, but..will they even stay together after our loss? The grief might be too much for them." The thought made Ezra shiver. He couldn't imagine the Ghost crew not existing.

Kanan looked down sadly. "I don't know what they will do. Everyone grieves in their own way. I'd like if our family stayed together when we're gone, but who knows how they will respond. Sabine might go back to Mandalore, Hera might focus on her duties in the Rebellion, and Zeb might go back to his people."

Hearing he'd sacrifice himself was fine. Ezra was fully prepared to do it if it meant protecting others. However, there was no guarantee his sacrifice would yield the desired result. There was no guarantee his family would be safe or his home would be freed. Hell, there wasn't even a guarantee his family would remain a family. That thought alone, the thought of his family breaking up was too much for Ezra. "No!" He said angrily. Everything had been going fine, he had a family, a home, and a purpose. Now all of it was being ripped away? Ezra stood up. "No! I'm not letting you do this, and I'm not doing it either when we don't know. We can fight!"

Kanan stood up and wrapped Ezra in a hug. The pain, desperation and fear in Ezra's voice broke him. The emotions he held back for Ezra's sake escaped in the form of tears streaking down his cheeks. Ezra had every right to feel the way he did. It felt like he had the cards stacked against him since day one. It wasn't fair at all that he found a family, and it would be ripped away. Worst of all, Ezra was old and mature enough to do something about it, which added to the helpless feeling. Kanan pulled back, seeing Ezra's tears and stared at him, his hand still resting on his shoulder. "No, It's not fair! You of all people don't deserve more pain and loneliness, but I do think there is a purpose to it. I truly believe the Force chose you for all this to happen to because you are special. You will be a true Jedi."

Ezra hated that Kanan was right, he hated that he trusted Kanan enough to go along with this suicidal plan. Ezra wanted to continue acting like a child and throwing a tantrum, but it solved nothing. Taking a breath, he nodded. "What next?"

"We continue on as if nothing has happened and nothing has changed. It'll be hard, but you can't say or do anything that might tip Sabine off that it'll be goodbye." It would be extremely hard for both him and Ezra not to reveal anything. The temptation was strong.

Ezra wanted to tell Sabine, he wanted a final hug, maybe even a kiss if he was lucky and bold enough. He wanted to hug Hera, his unofficially adopted mother. It would break all of their hearts to leave without a proper goodbye. "We should head back." Ezra said solemnly.

Kanan looked at Ezra again. "I will always be proud of you and what you've become. I know your parents would feel the same."

Silence ensued as the Jedi duo made their way back to the Ghost, realizing this would be the last time they walked together back into their home.


End file.
